Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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