Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
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I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
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He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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