almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
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