If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
