Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
