Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
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