How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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