took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
