i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
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If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
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Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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