so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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