I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
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