Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
