I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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