i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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