Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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