Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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