she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Drake has all the answers
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
