Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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