he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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