We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
