There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize