every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
