New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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