I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize