You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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