Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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