your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
