All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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