I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
