Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
you didnt know i had herpes?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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