i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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