Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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