that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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