So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
i think my cat just said my name.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
And then the night went full on bisexual.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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