Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
