Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just gift wrapped bread.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
