i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
