I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
