Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
