all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
