Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
