he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
