can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
