Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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