Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
