I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
