He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize