Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
