Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
