Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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