I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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