i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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