drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
