It's like God shit irony all over that family
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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