Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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