it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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