is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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