You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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