she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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