ya dads aren't the best wingmen
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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