I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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