It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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