i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just found puke in my bra..
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
